It seems to scream out of its proboscis as it approaches your arm, so terrified children are of this little blood sucker some will gnash and scratch and destroy the windows to avoid being in the same room with one.

If you listen closely, you can always hear one buzzing in the air inside you like a hornet’s nest in a dark shed. But I don’t see what the big deal is.

In fact, when I have my cholesterol labs done I like to watch it go into me like butter, it’s having had centuries to perfect its entry. I honestly find it quite interesting to watch it collect me, and it is quite easy to imagine it as a giant mosquito,

its abdomen getting fuller and fuller with my red life juice I hardly ever get to see, before it falls off and lands on the palm of a hot nurse, and just rests there, fully satisfied and spent, the way I wish I could be held before the end of my sucky life.